Helping Donald Dumb…
And the Rest of Us

I’m concerned about our fake president, Donald the Dumb. The past couple of weeks have been problematic for him. The ceremony remembering the end of WWI was rained on. However, that didn’t stop him from walking down the Champs-Elysees in Paris. Apparently, a medical issue did. He has a bone spur that kept him out of Vietnam a half century ago. It must have acted up keeping him from walking with the other world leaders. Hey, they would have allowed him to be in the middle of the front line, but he declined. Nevertheless, all the other leaders didn’t have bone spurs.

Leaders of the Western world marching down the Champs-Elysees without bone spurs

Adding insult to injury, the midterm election didn’t go well. At first, even the flipping of the House of Representatives, Donald the Dumb viewed the election results as looking good for him. That being said, someone told him that results of the midterm would allow the Congress to request documents like his tax returns. In addition, the Mueller investigation was closing in on his inner circle, which intensified his level of rage. Also, I don’t understand his fit about his tax returns; Mueller certainly has them.

Additionally, reports have circulated regarding our fake president raging on and on about the Mueller inquiry in general. While Donald the Dumb tweets, some in the country merely right off his behavior as the new normal. Nevertheless, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), which is published by the American Psychiatric Association (APA) would still tell, even a novice, that the new normal is still a malignant situation.

Speaking of psychological malignancies, Donald the Dumb suffers from a long list of psych disorders like narcissism, paranoia, anti-social personality, routinized lying, predator’s sadism, etc.

Then there is the issue of Donald the Dumb being a baby. Supposedly, our fake president yelled to Paul Manafort, his former campaign manager, “You think you've gotta go on TV to talk to me? You treat me like a baby!” Then he continued to vent, “Am I like a baby to you? I sit there like a little baby and watch TV and you talk to me? Am I a f--king baby, Paul?”

Hey Winnie, wait for me. I’m a greater leader than anyone; I’m like Lincoln.

Okay, so what if many around him and those that aren’t in the West Wing think Donald the Dumb is a baby? I think that Baby Trump is headed for a disaster like the explosion of the Hindenburg airship at Lakehurst, NJ on May 6, 1937.

“…this is the worst of the worst catastrophes in the world.”

To avoid having another newscaster like Herbert Morrison say, “…this is terrible; this is the worst of the worst catastrophes in the world,” I have an idea. We need to give baby Donald a pacifier. So, off I went to the Internet. I was going to buy our fake president a real pacifier like this one. However, at a closer look, I realized that he doesn’t like anybody that isn’t as white as Norwegians.

My first choice

So, back to the Internet, I found this one. Its ears are as white as any Norwegian’s ears.

My second choice

However, the elephant’s skin was gray. I tried again and went back to my search of the perfect pacifier. I found this one which was really…just like his hands being large.

My third choice

However, perhaps that pacifier wouldn’t work for some obvious reasons. After several hours of mulling over the perfect pacifier for our enraged f--king baby president, I found the crème de la crème of pacifiers. It is also a large one for him and excellent for all the rest of us.

I found it….