April Fool’s Day
For the Donald

I intended this essay to be about Ginger and her journey down the yellow brick road of her recovery. However, I happened across this video. At first, I thought it was an SNL spoof about Trump or someone who created an AI video.

It wasn’t an April parody about our illustrious former president, who was impeached twice and indicted four times, ad infinitum. Trump loves nicknames for people he detests. My nickname for Trump is Donald the Dumb.

I am a very stable genius.

“I am a very stable genius.”

The Donald really is selling a Bible for $59.99. It is the King James Version of the Bible. British King James IV commissioned that Bible. Trump renamed the KJV. Trump renamed the Bible, now called the God Bless the USA Bible (GBUSAB). Now, the followers of John Calvin didn’t like the KJV and wrote their own version called the Geneva Bible. Interestingly, the Geneva Bible translated the word king as a tyrant. That is the reason that Trump preferred the KJV.

King Trump’s chosen version is one of a thousand versions of the English Bible. One would have thought that Trump would have picked a more recent version than a five-century-old one. I haven’t yet signed up for my God Bless the USA Bible (GBUSAB). I’m still waiting for my high-top Trump sneakers to arrive.

I’ll be the cat’s meow.

I’ll be the cat’s meow.

It will be interesting to find out how the Donald might have edited sections of the God Bless the USA Bible (GBUSAB). I will look to see whether Psalm 137, which begins with “By the rivers of Babylon,” was edited to “By the waters of Mar-a-Lago.”

Since Trump knows the Bible, I’d bet that he would edit Nehemiah when it came to building a wall around Jerusalem. Nehemiah’s intention was to keep the Gentiles out of the Holy City. Gentiles meant anyone who wasn’t Jewish, and therefore, they were clean. Trump wants to wall off America. America was for whites. He and the other white supremacists have issues with Mexicans, Muslims, and other minorities.

I read somewhere that Donald the Dumb wants to rename the Book of Proverbs to King Donald’s Proverbs. This source mentioned that he will repost old rants from Truth Social.

The Donald wants to edit the story of Joseph and his coat of many colors. Trump sees himself as a patriarch of America. Therefore, the Donald deems orange a better color than a handful of other colors.

The Orange Jesus

The Orange Jesus

As for the NT, Donald the Dumb isn’t clear about the Bible having two sections. However, Trump is going to replace Judas with Mike Pence. He calls his mindset retribution since Pence betrayed Trump.

Trump wants to rename some of the characters in the Bible. For example, the Good Samaritan should now be called the Not-So-Good Samaritan. Samaritans weren’t Jewish and also weren’t clean. Trump sees Pontius Pilate as a strong and determined leader like Putin, Kim, and Xi.

As for the issue of adultery and the Seventh Commandment, Trump believes that that commandment should continue. However, he explained how he felt about it on Access Hollywood.

Trump views himself as part human and also part divine. The Brits call this the Royal We, which means that royalty and God work together due to their divine status. Therefore, messing around with Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal just after Barron was born wasn’t a sin. Trump is permitted the same rights regarding nonconsensual sexual acts with Jessica Leeds, Kristin Anderson, Jill Harth, Cathy Heller, Temple Taggart McDowell, Karena Virginia, Bridget Sullivan, Tasha Dixon, Mindy McGillivray, Rachel Crooks, Natasha Stoynoff, Jennifer Murphy, Jessica Drake, Ninni Laaksonen, Summer Zervos, Cassandra Searles, E. Jean Carroll, Amy Dorris, ad infinitum, ad nauseam. (source: ABC News)

It amazes me how truly stupid Trump is. He hasn’t sent me his sneakers yet. Perhaps, he wants me to pay for them. However, Donald the Dumb does dumber and dumber things. He is now selling his God Bless the USA Bible (GBUSAB). He has been twice impeached, charged with four indictments, and is facing 88 criminal charges, etc. In two weeks, Trump is facing Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal. After that trial, Donald still faces a handful of other trials. If you wrote a screenplay a decade ago about the life and times of a very stable genius, nobody would buy the rights to the storyline. It is beyond the pale. Nonetheless, that is where we are as a nation.