I’m an 82 guy who is still trying to grasp what my life is all about. I’m way beyond the notion that we are predestined in our journey down our yellow brick roads. I feel that saying some deity has a plan and purpose for our lives is beyond the pale. It is, for me, a cop-out to say that some wise force out there has our lives written down in some cosmic book. It is our responsibility to determine what we will do with our brief moments in the world before our lives are snuffed out.

It seems to me that we need to face life and determine what we will do in that all-too-short moment of our existence. It is late at night as I endeavor to grasp my reality. It is after 11 pm, and I sit in front of my computer and write this essay. I’ve done the dance with death twice. I know my clock is ticking louder and louder. I have wasted years as if I was immortal. Knowing that my time is limited scares me. Either I address my purpose now, or else I will have wasted my time here on this pale blue dot in the vast universe.

I had read and learned from many mentors. I have always been driven. However, there have been two events that have increased my drive. The first was that my parents moved from Pennsauken, NJ, which was a lovely middle-class community and a good school system, to Mt. Lebanon, PA, just before junior high. Mt. Lebanon was a golden ghetto. I was the richest community in Western Pennsylvania and the 19^th-best school system in America. It was a cultural shock for me. I learned two things while attending junior and senior high school: I was dumb and poor.

The second trauma for me was that I danced with death two in the first half of 2008. I had prostate cancer that had metastasized beyond my prostate and a subdural hematoma. Dance with death, and you will learn an important truth: your clock is ticking.

Both Mt. Lebanon and leading death on the dancefloor of my life heighten my drive. My drive was on steroids. My Weltanschauung caused me to go to school overseas and to teach overseas. I have been on tour, guided tours, and travel on my own. I have traveled to most of Western Europe, the Middle East, Africa, South America, and Asia since grad school in the late 60s.

I went to Myanmar a dozen years ago with the hope of interviewing Aung San Suu Kyi, the Lady, but failed. Nevertheless, I toured the tourist triangle. One of my stops was near Inle Lake. My guide was Moh Moh. While visiting the lake and the surrounding areas, Moh Moh said that we had to stop at her home to pick up my itinerary after I left Inle Lake. She said that I could meet Ti Ti, her daughter, who was nine years old. She was home on winter break.

When we walked into their living room, I was greeted with, “Hi! My name is Ti Ti. Do you want to play some games?” We played Scrabble together for an hour, laughing and having fun together. I left their home and realized that I had met my granddaughter. While there, I met the rest of my family: her father and two younger sisters. In the past decade, I returned two additional times for a visit. On the last trip during my winter break from teaching, my family and I went on a family tour together.

I have helped Ti Ti educationally in Myanmar, preparing for college. She took an online class from me that I taught. This is her final. Ti Ti has her section on my website. Myanmar has a troubled history of coups and COVID. Life hasn’t been easy Ti Ti and my family. I have done what I could to support them.

Ti Ti was enrolled at Gusto University in Yangon. However, during the military takeover recently, Ti Ti and some of her fellow students fled to Bangkok, Thailand. There, she is taking her online classes at Gusto.

Ti Ti tried three times to get a student visa to live at my home and go to college where I taught. However, a male member of the staff at the US Embassy in Yangon didn’t like Ti Ti and refused her a student visa. I wrote to the acting ambassador of our embassy with all the data that Ti Ti had given me regarding all three interviews.

I wrote to the acting ambassador, but a female staff member never gave the acting ambassador my email. Instead, the staff member merely provided only a limited amount of information, which was in my email to the acting ambassador.

I have assisted Ti Ti as a refugee in Bangkok. She works part-time and takes classes online from Gusto. Ti Ti is brilliant. I have taught at the college level since the late 90s. Ti Ti is one of the best students that I have taught over the years and was one of the three female students in the online class who aced the class.

Ti Ti’s birthday is on June 2. In my last wire transfer to Ti Ti, I included her birthday gift. However, I love my granddaughter, and a w/t birthday gift seemed hollow, especially on her 21^st birthday. I wanted to give her something that she could see. So, I went to Amazon and picked a gift, hoping that it would be there before her birthday. Amazon said it would arrive by May 19. This is what I received on May 19.

Dear Papa Al,

Something wild happened yesterday—and I still can’t believe it!

So there I was, working my part-time shift like any normal day, when suddenly I got a call. A delivery? For me? I was immediately confused because I hadn’t ordered anything. At all. I asked the guy on the phone which delivery service it was from, and he just said, “Iris Condo.” I replied, “Yes…?” And then he went: “Which building?” I said, “Building C,” and then, “Room number?” “505/92,” I answered. And guess what? He HUNG UP. Just like that! No explanation. No details.

I was SO confused. I immediately opened all my apps—Shopee, Lazada, Shein—nothing was showing as out for delivery. Not a single thing!

I messaged the condo office right away and explained everything. While I was still typing, I got a second call, this time from a woman. She politely apologized and said they’d be sending the package to the condo office in five minutes. I thanked her, updated the office staff, and made sure to let them know clearly—I didn’t order anything!

Fast forward: I got home from work and RAN straight to the office. And there it was.

A big. Heavy. Mystery. Box.

My heart was pounding. What was it? Why was it so big? Who sent it? There was no sender’s name. No return address. Just me. My full name. My phone number. My room.

I had a million thoughts racing through my mind—Is this a prank? A stalker? A bomb?? I was seriously debating whether I should open it right there in the office… but then again, what if it was something weird or personal?

That’s when I saw the little label: “Take video when opening.”

Aha! That gave me an idea!

I dashed back to my room, lugged the box up the stairs, set up my laptop and webcam, thinking, "I gotta tell my besties", hit record… and well—you’ll see the rest in the video! 😆

I still can’t get over how dramatic that whole experience was! It felt like a Netflix thriller—but in real life!

Love you always,

Ti Ti

As I read Ti Ti’s email, I was as excited as Ti Ti. I watched the video and looked at the photo.

I replied to Ti Ti with a question. Who is happier about the gift, the giver or the receiver? I told her that I had toyed with getting a Himalayan salt lamp. She knew that I had visited the Khewra Salt Mine in Pakistan. At that time, I wanted to bring a salt lamp to my family after leaving Pakistan. However, all the salt lamps I have are 30-50 lbs. At the shop at the salt mine, the largest was 5-6 inches high. I bought one for my family. All the large ones were shipped overseas. However, if I wanted a large one for Ti Ti, I would have to pay what it costs in the States, pay to ship it back to Thailand, and pay the tariff and import cost.

I opted for a smaller salt lamp bowl. I mentioned that I wish Ti Ti were here in Crown Point. That would have been a celebration par excellence. Ginger, my 72 lb. Irish Setter, would have gone ballistic playing with Ti Ti.

In my email, I picked up on Ti Ti mentioning Netflix. I mentioned that Bobby Kennedy is my most important mentor. However, Will Smith’s character, Dr. Robert Neville, in I Am Legend, is my most important fictitious role model. Both Kennedy and Neville guided me in my twilight years.

This is Nevile at the beginning of I Am Legend.

However, neither Kennedy nor Nevile were able to accomplish all that each wanted to do in their lives. This is Neville realizing his time was limited.

The closer I can get to being like Kennedy and Neville, the more content I will be. I told Ti Ti that meeting her a dozen years ago added to my drive. I am more than driven to help her and the rest of my family.

I hope that I can see my family again. In the meantime, I would love to sit down with Will Smith and discuss my 82-year-old version of Robert Neville. Interestingly, I Am Legend 2 won’t be out until 2028 or later. I would love to discuss his character in I Am Legend with Will Smith. It would fascinate both of us. Guess who will get a link to this essay?

This is the trailer for I Am Legend 2.